Someone lied, overcharged, stole, broke a promise or otherwise “done ya wrong.” It’s happened before and it will happen again. It’s happened to you and it’s happened to me.
In fact, it happened to me today.
I feel the hurt of broken trust, the sting of being treated unfairly, the dismay of being taken advantage of, and the frustration of having no recourse. I’m choking down the cold reality that even when I do everything right, I can still be wronged.
I just have to deal with the fact that life is not fair sometimes and sometimes I get to hold the short end of the stick.
At the same time I believe that I can use this situation for greater good.
When someone does me wrong, I am reminded that:
What happened does not make me “less than” or “unworthy” or “unlovable.”
I am not deserving of the other person’s poor judgement. Another person’s actions or show of disrespect does not change the fact that I am whole, perfect and lovable just as I am.
You see, sometimes I take the negative message a person sends and internalize it. Someone may trample my heart, my wallet or do me wrong in some way, but after they’ve stopped, I keep the pain going.
We all do that by reliving the moment. We explode. Then we tell others. We tell our friends, our family, Facebook, Twitter, and Yelp. And then we brood over it.
Each re-telling, each repetitive thought, piles on the pain
Imagine you are walking down the street and someone steps out and lashes you with a whip. You don’t know this person and you certainly don’t deserve to be whipped. But each time you tell the story of this unexpected hurt, you are reliving it. And are essentially lashing yourself.
When someone has wronged you, tell just one other person. Then journal about it. After no more than 30 minutes of thinking/writing about it, distract yourself in a good way. Go for a run, walk your dog, read an engrossing book, play with your kids. Do anything that will get your mind off the incident.
Then, when you are calm and clear-headed ask yourself,
“What is the gift?”
For me, the gift is a reminder that if I am to become a Messenger of Love (B.A.M.O.L.), one of the areas I need to work on is to practice loving everyone. And that means everyone.
Because if I let anger dominate my thinking, it is only hurting me. I will attract more negativity and I certainly won’t B.A.M.O.L.
In order to spread peace, love and compassion, I need to be able to handle life when things don’t go my way. I need to manage my own brain when people or situations don’t turn out the way I want.
If I leave that anger in me then all it can do is poison me.
I remind myself I am lovable, whole, and perfect exactly as I am.
And the truth is, what I am labeling as wrong, disrespect or lack of integrity, are all my labels and judgements. I am willing to bet the other person has a completely different take on the situation.
Is it hard to get over it when someone does you wrong? What can you do to speed up the process? Please share your thoughts and comments below. And then join the conversation in the private B.A.M.O.L. Facebook group.