Loving Myself When My Button is Pushed

loving myself

Today I noticed that I will push my own button if no one pushes it for me. Something was amiss with a friendship and I started to worry and wonder. Did I do something wrong? Doesn’t she like me anymore? What’s wrong with me?

So I did it.

I went to my button and pushed it.

And there I was.

A kid again. Back in my childhood pain, back in the old hurt. Repeating the pattern of old wounds. Ripping the scab off and feeling like I will never ever be truly healed.

It just keeps happening.

Whenever something in a relationship feels “not quite right,” that old hurt comes bubbling up to the surface.

Then I realized, no one EVER pushes our buttons. WE are always the ones doing the pushing!

We tell ourselves this story of pain that we learned as a child. We retell it as adults so we re-live that same pain over and over.

We hate the way it feels but how to get out?

The answer is to stop running from the hurt

Look at the hurt like a little child. Pick it up, hug it. Ask it what it needs to say. What is its message?

If your pattern is like mine, one of rejection, then what I need to know is that I am lovable NO MATTER WHAT. It doesn’t matter if my best friend stops talking to me or I’m kicked out of class, or no one likes my speech, article, cake, dress, fill-in-the-blank.

I am lovable NO MATTER WHAT. Tweet: I am lovable NO MATTER WHAT. #bamol @lizvioletnewell http://ctt.ec/ZRL8F+

My love for myself is not dependent on others, on baking, writing, what I create or not create, on getting or not getting approval, a raise, a proposal, a house, a paycheck.

Once I learn this truth and make it my own, then nothing can shake me from that belief. Because life will keep on showing me things that make me want to push my button…unless and until I UNINSTALL the button. After all, I may not have put it there but I do have the power to remove it.

In my journey of becoming a Messenger of Love (BAMOL), I need to first love myself. Today I claim that I am lovable and that nothing OUTSIDE OF ME can change that truth. I recognize that loving myself doesn’t happen over night. It’s a process.

Love is always the answer. Tweet: Love is always the answer. #BAMOL @lizvioletnewell http://ctt.ec/q6UJ8+

What can you learn from your buttons? We can inspire each other when we share stories in the comments below or on the private Facebook group.

If this post inspired you, please share. Through you, this message has the potential to inspire so many others. Together we can BAMOL and light up the world with love and kindness.

About Liz Violet Newell 31 Articles
Liz Violet Newell has been inspiring, encouraging, advising, and supporting others through various business and volunteer positions since 1999. Her life story of continuous self-improvement serves as the foundation for her writing, and the motivation behind her desire to make a difference through love and kindness. Liz has overcome extreme shyness, childhood bullying, won a lifelong battle with overeating, and survived divorce. She is active in a vibrant and supportive community of empowered women, spiritual practitioners and avid writers.


  1. Each time I visit your site I am left feeling SO much better than before. I’ve read so many of your posts and am continually fed, inspired and UPLIFTED by your words. Please, please keep writing. You are doing a world of good right here!

  2. This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear (or read!) right now! Sing it sistah!!!! I’ve read several of your articles, they come up on my Twitter feed. Thank you so much for everything you are doing by putting smiles on peoples faces! Much love to you!

  3. With all the craziness going on in the world right now, I just wanna say THANK YOU for making this website!!! It is so inspiring to read this!!!

  4. I like all your writing and I see myself (or my family) in almost eery one of your articles. Your bravery and vulnerability is inspiring to me and many others. Keep it up! And thank you!

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