Today I noticed that I will push my own button if no one pushes it for me. Something was amiss with a friendship and I started to worry and wonder. Did I do something wrong? Doesn’t she like me anymore? What’s wrong with me?
So I did it.
I went to my button and pushed it.
And there I was.
A kid again. Back in my childhood pain, back in the old hurt. Repeating the pattern of old wounds. Ripping the scab off and feeling like I will never ever be truly healed.
It just keeps happening.
Whenever something in a relationship feels “not quite right,” that old hurt comes bubbling up to the surface.
Then I realized, no one EVER pushes our buttons. WE are always the ones doing the pushing!
We tell ourselves this story of pain that we learned as a child. We retell it as adults so we re-live that same pain over and over.
We hate the way it feels but how to get out?
The answer is to stop running from the hurt
Look at the hurt like a little child. Pick it up, hug it. Ask it what it needs to say. What is its message?
If your pattern is like mine, one of rejection, then what I need to know is that I am lovable NO MATTER WHAT. It doesn’t matter if my best friend stops talking to me or I’m kicked out of class, or no one likes my speech, article, cake, dress, fill-in-the-blank.
My love for myself is not dependent on others, on baking, writing, what I create or not create, on getting or not getting approval, a raise, a proposal, a house, a paycheck.
Once I learn this truth and make it my own, then nothing can shake me from that belief. Because life will keep on showing me things that make me want to push my button…unless and until I UNINSTALL the button. After all, I may not have put it there but I do have the power to remove it.
In my journey of becoming a Messenger of Love (BAMOL), I need to first love myself. Today I claim that I am lovable and that nothing OUTSIDE OF ME can change that truth. I recognize that loving myself doesn’t happen over night. It’s a process.
What can you learn from your buttons? We can inspire each other when we share stories in the comments below or on the private Facebook group.
If this post inspired you, please share. Through you, this message has the potential to inspire so many others. Together we can BAMOL and light up the world with love and kindness.