Ending the Blame Game

end blame game

My husband backed into my car today. I didn’t park in my usual spot in the driveway and he didn’t look before backing.

“You should not have parked there!”

“You should have looked where you were going!”

Blame became the hot potato my husband and I passed back and forth as we each claimed the other was responsible. Eventually he was willing to take “some percentage” of the blame- but not as high as the 98% I suggested.

I don’t want to take the blame. Blame comes with shame. I should have known better. What was I thinking? What’s wrong with me? I am such a screw up.

Even when something is clearly my fault it’s hard for me to admit I was wrong—especially to my husband. It’s hard for me to say, “Sorry honey. I parked in the wrong place.”

I just realized why I am afraid to admit that I messed up or used poor judgment:

Because he might stop loving me.

There it is.

I think I have to be perfect to be lovable.  So when I make a mistake I don’t want to admit it. I don’t want my husband to think less of me.

I need to remember this:

When I do something bad that doesn’t mean I am a bad person.Tweet: when I do something bad that doesn’t mean I am a bad person. #endblamegame @lizvioletnewell http://ctt.ec/7nDab+

I cannot let a lapse in judgment define who I am. I am not my mistake. I am just a human being who made a mistake.

In order to become a Messenger of Love, I need to admit when I am wrong and thereby embrace my humanness. Once I love all of me it will be easier to love all of you.Tweet: Once I love all of me it will be easier to love all of you. #selflove @lizvioletnewell.com http://ctt.ec/SedC0+

From now on I am going to work on owning up to mistakes when I make them. And I’ll remind myself that I am still lovable and awesome even when I mess up. In fact, I am especially lovable when I mess up and own my humanness. Tweet: I am especially lovable when I mess up and own my humanness. #endblamegame @lizvioletnewell http://ctt.ec/aJf2m+

Anyway. I’m sorry honey. I parked in the wrong place.

Are you ready to end the blame game? Is it easier to admit mistakes to certain people than others? Why?

About Liz Violet Newell 31 Articles
Liz Violet Newell has been inspiring, encouraging, advising, and supporting others through various business and volunteer positions since 1999. Her life story of continuous self-improvement serves as the foundation for her writing, and the motivation behind her desire to make a difference through love and kindness. Liz has overcome extreme shyness, childhood bullying, won a lifelong battle with overeating, and survived divorce. She is active in a vibrant and supportive community of empowered women, spiritual practitioners and avid writers.

2 Comments

  1. Admitting you’re wrong, and not blaming the other person can be one of the hardest things for humans to do. However, once you start practicing accepting blame and admitting that you were wrong, it just feels good. There should be no turning back at that point. But it does require a mature heart and mind.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.