My husband backed into my car today. I didn’t park in my usual spot in the driveway and he didn’t look before backing.
“You should not have parked there!”
“You should have looked where you were going!”
Blame became the hot potato my husband and I passed back and forth as we each claimed the other was responsible. Eventually he was willing to take “some percentage” of the blame- but not as high as the 98% I suggested.
I don’t want to take the blame. Blame comes with shame. I should have known better. What was I thinking? What’s wrong with me? I am such a screw up.
Even when something is clearly my fault it’s hard for me to admit I was wrong—especially to my husband. It’s hard for me to say, “Sorry honey. I parked in the wrong place.”
I just realized why I am afraid to admit that I messed up or used poor judgment:
Because he might stop loving me.
There it is.
I think I have to be perfect to be lovable. So when I make a mistake I don’t want to admit it. I don’t want my husband to think less of me.
I need to remember this:
I cannot let a lapse in judgment define who I am. I am not my mistake. I am just a human being who made a mistake.
From now on I am going to work on owning up to mistakes when I make them. And I’ll remind myself that I am still lovable and awesome even when I mess up. In fact, I am especially lovable when I mess up and own my humanness.
Anyway. I’m sorry honey. I parked in the wrong place.
Are you ready to end the blame game? Is it easier to admit mistakes to certain people than others? Why?